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Posted on Aug 9, 2019

Letter to the editor: ‘Small-Town Mommas’

‘Small-Town Mommas’
Dear Shannon Ites,
Your letter to the “Small-Town Mommas” of Quincy was brilliant. Raw. Powerful. Insightful. A crucial clarion call for women to shrug off their insecurities in order to become the women God created them to be.
Thank you for having the courage to speak truth to one of the little-acknowledged realities that lurk in the deep underbelly of Quincy’s “Mom-clique” subculture.
Hailing from a large city, two and half hours north of New York City and two and half hours south of Boston, I have been blessed by friendships with women from many walks of life, cultures and ethnicities. I count numerous intelligent, compassionate and professionally accomplished women among my dearest friends. Some of those superstars even live in Quincy. You know who you are ladies, so thank you for being you!
Believe me, there are women here that have similar values, that won’t judge a book by its cover, or possess a distorted view of their own self-worth. When a woman possesses true confidence and inner beauty, she understands that being kind to others will not diminish her. On the contrary, that radiant decency makes a woman glow with a surefooted grace that is unparalleled by those who choose arrogant disdain. Those incandescent women that we call friends are curious about other women, are raising their children to be kind towards others and ultimately understand that we are all in this together. The bitter reality for the “Queen Bees” of Quincy and beyond is inevitable. The fact is that there will always be women that are more attractive, more intelligent, more capable and more connected. Stop sizing up “the competition” because it’s a zero-sum game. Those women that give so little of their hearts and minds to those they deem “less-worthy” are tragic because true contentment doesn’t come from social standing. It comes from a humility and self-love that does not judge others. When you have lived in metropolitan areas, as you and I have, where talent, intelligence and beauty are the norm, being a “big fish” in a small pond is utterly irrelevant.
Shannon, know that God will place authentic friendship and acceptance in your path.
I’d love to have coffee sometime. Dave Burgess at QVPR will put you in touch with me. I’d love to introduce you to the phenomenal Quincy women I cherish.
Blessings always,
Sandy Zavala
(Former QVPR Columnist and Current Homeschooling Mom)